Leadership can be intimidating, especially when you’re just starting out. Whether you’re a new manager, a business owner, or a parent stepping into a new role at work, in your own business or at home, the pressure to lead effectively can sometimes feel overwhelming, and it actually is. The good news is, you don’t have to feel “ready” to be confident in your leadership. Confidence as a leader is built, step by step, and it starts with a shift in mindset and a commitment to learning and growth. And the truth is: why do we have the need to feel confident right away? It is ok to not do so. At first. It is natural. Let’s embrace imperfection.
As a parent juggling multiple responsibilities—such as raising children, running a household, or managing a business—confidence can feel like an elusive quality. You might ask yourself, How can I be a confident leader when I don’t feel like I have it all together, especially not even at home? It’s a valid question, and you’re not alone. Even the most successful leaders have moments of self-doubt. Plenty of moments. The key is learning to lead despite your lack of confidence, even in those moments.
In this post, we’ll explore how you can build confidence as a leader, especially when you’re not feeling ready, and we’ll integrate how these strategies apply both in the workplace and in parenting.
1. Understand That Confidence is Built, Not Given
Confidence is not something you’re born with; it’s something you develop. Every experience, every decision, and every step you take builds a little bit more confidence. So, if you’re feeling uncertain or insecure about your leadership abilities, know that this is just part of the process.
One of the biggest misconceptions about leadership is that the best leaders are those who are always certain and never doubt themselves. In reality, leadership is about learning to embrace uncertainty while moving forward anyway. As Simon Sinek says, “Great leaders don’t need to act tough. Their confidence allows them to be gentle.” Confidence doesn’t mean having all the answers or being perfect—it means having the courage to keep going, even when you’re not 100% sure of the outcome.
In parenthood, this is especially relevant. Think about those early days of parenting when everything was new, and you didn’t always know what you were doing. But you showed up every day, and over time, you built your confidence as a parent. And then, your second child came: how confident were you then, remember? The same principle applies in leadership—start by showing up, learning, and committing to growth, and the confidence will follow.
2. Acknowledge Your Accomplishments, Big and Small
As you take on leadership roles, especially in parenthood, it’s easy to get lost in what’s left to do or what’s not going well. When you’re a working mom (or dad), trying to balance a career, business, or household responsibilities with raising kids, it can feel like you’re constantly playing catch-up. However, building confidence starts by recognizing your achievements, no matter how small they may seem.
Celebrate the wins—like successfully managing a meeting, creating a smooth family routine, or making it through a tough week at work. These moments matter. If you’re raising children while working full-time or running a business, that in itself is a huge accomplishment. The constant juggling of tasks—school drop-offs, managing deadlines, keeping up with appointments—requires a ton of resilience and strength.
In leadership, take time to reflect on your progress and the positive impact you’ve made, both personally and professionally. Building confidence means acknowledging what you’ve already done and giving yourself credit. In your parenting journey, it might be something like seeing your child’s growth or successfully navigating a tough situation with your family. By celebrating these moments, you’ll begin to see that you are capable of handling more than you think.
3. Embrace Vulnerability
Many of us associate vulnerability with weakness, but in reality, it’s a powerful tool for building trust and connection. As Brene Brown has taught us, vulnerability is the birthplace of innovation, creativity, and change. As a leader, whether in the workplace or in your home, embracing vulnerability can actually boost your confidence.
When you acknowledge that you don’t have all the answers and that you’re still learning, you create an environment where others feel comfortable doing the same. This helps build trust, which is a key component of strong leadership.
For instance, if you’re a working mom or dad, you might feel like you need to “have it all together” to be seen as a good parent or leader. But the truth is, it’s okay to admit that you don’t have all the answers and that you are learning as you go. In fact, it makes you more relatable and human. When you are vulnerable with your team, whether at work or at home, it fosters a culture of open communication and growth. It also models to your children or employees that it’s okay to make mistakes and learn from them.
A vulnerable leader is one who can say, “I don’t know everything, but I’m committed to finding solutions and growing together.” That kind of leadership builds trust and creates an environment where others can thrive.
4. Lead by Example, Not Perfection
As a parent, your children are always watching you. The way you handle stress, failure, and success will shape how they approach challenges in their own lives. The same is true for your colleagues, employees, and team members—they watch how you lead. But leading doesn’t mean being perfect. It means being authentic.
In fact, perfectionism can be a barrier to confidence because it sets unrealistic standards that are impossible to meet. As a leader, your job is to lead with authenticity, even when things aren’t perfect. Instead of trying to do everything perfectly, focus on leading with integrity, consistency, and openness.
In motherhood or fatherhood, this means showing your kids how to handle challenges with grace. For example, if you’re managing a business while being a mom, there will be times when things don’t go as planned. Showing your kids that setbacks are part of the journey and that it’s okay to fail sometimes is one of the most powerful ways to lead. It teaches them resilience and encourages them to approach their own challenges with confidence.
5. Delegate and Trust Your Team
One of the biggest mistakes new leaders make is trying to do it all themselves. Whether in business or at home, you cannot do it alone. Building confidence as a leader involves learning to trust your team—whether that’s your employees, your partner, or your kids.
In business, this might look like delegating tasks to your team so you can focus on the higher-level responsibilities that require your attention. In parenting, this can mean splitting up chores or responsibilities with your spouse or even giving your children age-appropriate tasks. It’s not about doing everything yourself—it’s about empowering others to contribute.
By delegating, you show your team (or your family) that you trust them and value their contribution. You’ll feel more confident because you’re focusing on your strengths, and your team will feel more confident because they are trusted to handle important tasks.
As a working mom or dad, delegating can also help create more balance in your life. For instance, meal prepping or assigning roles for school pickups and drop-offs with your partner can ease some of the burdens and create time for you to focus on your leadership role at work, without feeling guilty about neglecting family responsibilities.
6. Focus on Continuous Growth, Not Perfection
Finally, one of the best ways to build confidence as a leader is to focus on continuous growth and learning. It’s easy to feel like you’re not ready for leadership because you’re not perfect yet—but that’s the point! Leadership is a journey, not a destination. As you learn, grow, and evolve, your confidence will naturally grow with you.
Take the time to develop your leadership skills, whether it’s by reading, attending seminars, or seeking mentorship. And in parenting, commit to learning and improving with each stage of your child’s growth. There’s no “final version” of a leader—you’ll always be evolving, so embrace the process.
7. Practice Self-Care and Set Boundaries
Finally, never underestimate the power of self-care in building confidence. It’s easy to put everyone else’s needs before your own—especially as a working parent—but your well-being is just as important as your work or your family’s needs. When you take care of yourself, you’ll feel more energized, grounded, and confident in your leadership abilities.
Set boundaries between work and home life to avoid burnout. It’s essential for your mental health and will help you show up as your best self in both your leadership role at work and your parenting role at home.
Conclusion: You Are Ready—Even If You Don’t Feel Ready
Building confidence as a leader is not about waiting until you feel fully prepared—it’s about taking action, learning from your experiences, and embracing the journey. Whether you’re leading a team at work or guiding your children at home, you have the skills, strength, and resilience to lead well.
By focusing on growth, embracing vulnerability, leading by example, and practicing self-care, you can build the confidence you need to lead with authenticity and success. Remember, you don’t have to be perfect to be an effective leader—you just need to be real, committed, and willing to learn.
So, step into your leadership role, trust the process, and watch your confidence grow.
